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[personal profile] laligin
Oh, Jantolution, you are bad for me. (Again, blame Jantolution's challenge. ^_^)

Fandom: Torchwood (hurrah!)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Insanity.
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Word Count: 1125
Summary: On the trail of a potentially deadly alien, the Torchwood Team have encountered resistance from an unexpected quarter...
Prompt: Jantolution Challenge #1, Prompt - General.

Lots Of Things You Can Do With A Tiepin

UNIT, Ianto decided, was more than a little tetchy these days.

“Look, I told you, we’re Torchwood Three and we have priority here! We are not amateurs, we are not aliens, and we are not answerable to you!”

He had the feeling that Jack wasn’t getting very far in his negotiations for the team’s release.

“Yes, I know I broke every rule Torchwood has about the Doctor! You of all people should be grateful I did, considering how often you’ve worked with him! I don’t care if it was unprofessional and would have got me court-martialled in your organisation, I did it in mine!

Owen was discussing something with the other two, gathered at the far end of their cell, but Ianto was too busy straining his ears to hear what was going on in the room next door.

“Listen, General, I don’t really care whether you think I’m capable of running Torchwood Three any more, I’m still in charge there and I want my team back!”

Jack was shouting loud enough now that Ianto could spare some of his attention for an investigation of the lock on the door. He could probably spring them out of here if he could find something to use as a lock pick…

They have not been compromised! For God’s sake they were trying to do their job when your men caught them! Unless your troops have found it there’s still an alien hiding in those explosives, and that’s really not a good combination! Let my people go and we’ll sort it out for you, no hard feelings.”

Ianto dismantled his belt buckle, holding the spike in one hand while he looked at the lock again. After some consideration, with a reluctant sigh, he took off his shoe and fished out his spare tiepin. He’d lost the other in the mad dash after the alien.

One?! One?! You have got to be kidding me! If this is just some stupid attempt to try and put one over on us, you should think again. That alien could be dangerous and you’re not equipped to deal with it. I need my whole team on this one.”

Gwen crawled over to Ianto, whispering, “Owen reckons he’s got a plan to get us out of here,” and Ianto, biting his lip in concentration, simply said, “Mm?” and then glanced round as the lock clicked open. Gwen blinked at him, then looked at the door, then looked back at the others, and said, “Um. Step one complete?”

“No. No way. That’s no kind of deal. Are you just trying to let this alien get away? And you accused me of incompetence?!”

Ianto rapidly put his belt back together again and slipped the tiepin into a pocket as Owen and Tosh edged over quietly. He stood up and took hold of the door handle, looking back at the others and nodding along to Owen’s quiet count of, “One, two, three!

“Cut the crap and give me back my –”

Jack stopped mid-sentence as the door burst open and the team in question leaped out, only to come to a screeching halt as the three UNIT guards trained semi-automatics on them from far too close a range.

“Look,” Jack said, waving a hand at his rather sheepish employees. “They’ll just keep trying to escape as long as you keep them locked up. I personally vouch for them. All of them. Let them go.”

The General, still sitting at his desk and looking vaguely amused by the whole situation, shook his head, saying, “Apologies, Captain Harkness, but you’re not on home ground here, and your authority doesn’t hold. Like I said, you can take one of them with you to deal with the alien. If we’re satisfied that they haven’t been compromised after that, we’ll consider releasing them to you.”

Jack sighed, and looked at the timepiece on his wristband. “Fine,” he snapped. “Ianto, come on.”

As the others broke into cries of surprise and anger, Ianto slipped between the guards and went to Jack’s side, with a vaguely apologetic shrug at the other three. Jack grabbed his arm and said, “We’ll be back,” then dragged him out of the room and headed outside.

Ianto made an effort not to hear the creative names Jack was calling UNIT staff under his breath as they headed for the explosives truck.

“Sir?”

Jack paused and glanced at him, asking, “What?” then adding, “Sorry,” when it came out too harsh.

“Why me?” Ianto asked, and Jack pulled him along to the truck, saying, “Because you’re gorgeous and I can’t live without you.”

“Nice to know, sir,” Ianto said, “but I meant why did you pick me to help you catch this alien?”

“Oh,” Jack responded vaguely, climbing into the truck and rooting carelessly around amongst the boxes of dynamite for a moment or two. “Because…” He trailed off, his back to Ianto, then leaned over two boxes, nearly losing his balance as he checked for their elusive alien.

Ianto caught himself craning his neck for a better look.

“I need…” Jack said, voice slightly muffled, then, “Ha! Gotcha!”

Straightening up, a little breathless and a touch redder in the face than usual, he made his way back to the edge of the truck and jumped down, holding the three-inch alien in one hand and keeping its paper-thin wrists pinned together with the other.

“I need your tiepin,” he said, then looked at Ianto’s loose tie, and said, “Oh damn.”

Ianto dug in his pocket, saying, “I have a spare, sir,” and clipped the squealing alien’s wrists together with it.

Jack looked amused. Before he could make any comments about the fact that Ianto carried a spare tiepin with him at all times, Ianto hastily suggested, “Perhaps we should keep the alien out of sight. You rather exaggerated the threat it posed when you were negotiating our release.”

“Hmm,” Jack said, looking at the annoyed little creature. “You might have a point there.”

Quite carefully, he changed his grip to put a finger over the alien’s mouth and keep the creature contained in the palm of his hand, and then put his hand in the pocket of his greatcoat and grinned at Ianto.

“I’m sure that’s against the Geneva Convention,” Ianto muttered as they headed back towards the building.

Jack shrugged, saying, “It’ll make things easier with the General. Now all we have to do is convince him that you and the others haven’t been possessed by aliens, sort this guy out, then we get some time to ourselves at last.”

Ianto was on the point of sighing with relief, already thinking of the night ahead of them, when they reached the door of the building.

And then the truck exploded.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crystalshard.livejournal.com
Hmmm. Looks like there was an entire colony of three-inch-high aliens. *grin* Great story, I loved Ianto quietly breaking them out with his belt buckle and tie pin.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
*still giggling* ^_^ Thanke. That's the sort of thing Ianto does, of course. ;)

(By the way, am reading part three of Constant as the Changing Weather now... Love it so far. Though... ouchie. Sympathy pain!)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fatchickengirl.livejournal.com
Sweet! love understated super-Ianto! He has tie pin, the world is saved!!!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
*laughs* :D Darn right. Glad you like. ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] szm.livejournal.com
And then the truck exploded.

I hate when that happens. :-) Great story, I wish i had a tie pin.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
:D Yeah, it's always a pain in the neck when that happens. ^_^ Thanks loads! And if I had a spare tiepin handy, I'd give... But I used it, sorry. :D

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crowson75.livejournal.com
Very nice. Only Ianto could save the world with a tie pin!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 10:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
So true. ^_^ Thanks!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-zedem.livejournal.com
*giggles* And the moral of that story is...everyone should have a Ianto :D

“Why me?” Ianto asked, and Jack pulled him along to the truck, saying, “Because you’re gorgeous and I can’t live without you.”

“Nice to know, sir,” Ianto said, “but I meant why did you pick me to help you catch this alien?”

PMSL! Those two lines are made of awesome :D :D

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 10:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
*nods furiously* I want my own Ianto.

*laughs* Thanks loads! :D Glad you like. *pats Jack 'n' Ianto*

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 10:44 pm (UTC)
order_of_chaos: (Default)
From: [personal profile] order_of_chaos
:-)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-02 12:35 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-01 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laurab1.livejournal.com
Hee! Brilliant :)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-02 12:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
:D Thanks. Glad you liked. ^_^

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-02 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] burntcopper.livejournal.com
:snerk: fabulous. and the last line? class.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-02 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
*grins* Thanke. Glad you like.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-02 01:37 am (UTC)
ext_3952: (Default)
From: [identity profile] duskwillow.livejournal.com
Mwa ha ha, this was brilliant!

“Why me?” Ianto asked, and Jack pulled him along to the truck, saying, “Because you’re gorgeous and I can’t live without you.”
“Nice to know, sir,” Ianto said, “but I meant why did you pick me to help you catch this alien?”



“I’m sure that’s against the Geneva Convention,” Ianto muttered as they headed back towards the building.
Bwa ha!!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-02 12:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
*grins* Why thanke. I love being quoted. And I'm glad it was good for a giggle, at least. ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-02 02:08 am (UTC)
ext_29272: (Default)
From: [identity profile] sunnyrea.livejournal.com
Oh my gosh that is so cute! tie pin on the alien's arms, awwwwwwww!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-02 12:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
*claps hands* Yes! The mental image has been passed on successfully! Haha!

Aheh. Glad you like! ^_^

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-03 11:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
Wow. Giant smiley.

^_^ Heh. Glad you liked. ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-03 03:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mara-202.livejournal.com
Hee! *loves* :D

“Why me?” Ianto asked, and Jack pulled him along to the truck, saying, “Because you’re gorgeous and I can’t live without you.”

“Nice to know, sir,” Ianto said, “but I meant why did you pick me to help you catch this alien?”

(no subject)

Date: 2007-03-03 04:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
^_^ Heehee. Glad you like. Lots of people seem to love those lines. :D *is happy*

(no subject)

Date: 2007-04-27 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zabbers.livejournal.com
This is just completely adorable. Disembodied, one-sided argument Jack! Ianto's spare tiepin (though I hope it's not in the bit of his shoe where he's stepping on it all the time)! Owen's unecessary plan! Bursting into the room full of guards (They’ll just keep trying to escape as long as you keep them locked up.)! Jack picks Ianto! His bum as he bends over! He needs...Ianto's tiepin! Teeny tiny alien! Eeee!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-04-29 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
Hee, thanke! (Ianto keeps his spare tiepin in a special little section in the tongue of his shoe, don't worry. And yes, he cuts and sews the pockets himself. *nod*)

Eheh. I'm very glad you liked it. It made me giggle a few times myself. ^_^ (You're most welcome to come back on spying trips whenever you like, now. Although I suppose it's not so much spying if you have an invite...)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-04-30 04:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zabbers.livejournal.com
Is there a phone in his shoe, too? (Consider this your 'I'm going to friend you' warning, as per your userinfo.)

(no subject)

Date: 2007-04-30 10:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com
Hee. Thanke for the notice. ^_^ And he has his bluetooth/headset/earpiece bit for phone-ness, as well as an actual mobile in a normal pocket. 'Cause it would be a bit much in his usual pairs of shoes.

However, he may have some special pairs of shoes...