Shock Tactics
May. 23rd, 2008 06:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
laliginFandom: Torchwood (shock horror!)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Word Count: 430
Summary: Dealing with a drunk shapeshifter wasn't high on Jack's list of priorities for the day...
Prompt: Jantolution Challenge #10, FLUFF (plus Ewok)
Shock Tactics
With Tosh suitably scared, the creature became a snake and lunged at Gwen and Owen, hissing. They both leapt back with a yell.
“Oh, please,” Jack sighed. “That is so old.”
“I will make you all cower with fear!” roared the snake, turning into a huge, fearsome lion and advancing on Jack, who folded his arms and told it, “Like that’s gonna scare me. We have enough guns in here to take down a whole pride, never mind one little lion.”
The lion growled furiously, then changed again, unfolding upwards into a towering, armour-plated monster, tiny red eyes gleaming as it raised both rippling purple hands above its head, clearly threatening to smash Jack into the ground.
“The bigger they are, the harder they fall,” Jack shrugged, and the beast glowered down at him.
“There must be something you fear,” it growled. “Some tangible, terrible thing.”
Jack smirked and shook his head, and the beast rumbled thoughtfully, then went through a quick parade of some of the most vile and horrifying creatures Ianto had ever seen. Jack showed complete apathy towards most, and entirely the wrong kind of interest in a few, until finally the shapeshifter laughed ominously and started shrinking. It sprouted fur as it became Tosh’s size, then smaller, and Jack suddenly went white.
“Oh, no,” he muttered, unfolding his arms and taking a step back. “No way.”
The shapeshifter hit knee height and stopped, then shuffled forwards, growling softly.
“Get it away!” Jack yelped, and fled for his office.
The creature stopped to laugh so hard it had to clutch at its sides with its stumpy little arms, which gave Ianto time to creep up behind it and zap it with his stun gun. It collapsed promptly.
“Retcon it and get it out of here,” Ianto suggested to the others, and they nodded, Tosh already making plans to send its ship a good few thousand lightyears away as they picked up the little bear and headed out.
Ianto went through to Jack’s office.
Jack peered cautiously around the far doorway, giving him an anxious look.
“Ianto? Is it gone?”
Ianto nodded, fighting to keep a straight face, and told him, “It’s stunned. The others are taking it back to its ship right now.”
“My hero,” said Jack, in a surprisingly heartfelt tone, and came forward to fling his arms around Ianto, clinging to him and shuddering. Ianto patted his back awkwardly.
“So.”
“What?” Jack asked sheepishly, without letting go of him.
Ianto bit his lip, but had to ask.
“How long have you been afraid of Ewoks?”
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Word Count: 430
Summary: Dealing with a drunk shapeshifter wasn't high on Jack's list of priorities for the day...
Prompt: Jantolution Challenge #10, FLUFF (plus Ewok)
Shock Tactics
With Tosh suitably scared, the creature became a snake and lunged at Gwen and Owen, hissing. They both leapt back with a yell.
“Oh, please,” Jack sighed. “That is so old.”
“I will make you all cower with fear!” roared the snake, turning into a huge, fearsome lion and advancing on Jack, who folded his arms and told it, “Like that’s gonna scare me. We have enough guns in here to take down a whole pride, never mind one little lion.”
The lion growled furiously, then changed again, unfolding upwards into a towering, armour-plated monster, tiny red eyes gleaming as it raised both rippling purple hands above its head, clearly threatening to smash Jack into the ground.
“The bigger they are, the harder they fall,” Jack shrugged, and the beast glowered down at him.
“There must be something you fear,” it growled. “Some tangible, terrible thing.”
Jack smirked and shook his head, and the beast rumbled thoughtfully, then went through a quick parade of some of the most vile and horrifying creatures Ianto had ever seen. Jack showed complete apathy towards most, and entirely the wrong kind of interest in a few, until finally the shapeshifter laughed ominously and started shrinking. It sprouted fur as it became Tosh’s size, then smaller, and Jack suddenly went white.
“Oh, no,” he muttered, unfolding his arms and taking a step back. “No way.”
The shapeshifter hit knee height and stopped, then shuffled forwards, growling softly.
“Get it away!” Jack yelped, and fled for his office.
The creature stopped to laugh so hard it had to clutch at its sides with its stumpy little arms, which gave Ianto time to creep up behind it and zap it with his stun gun. It collapsed promptly.
“Retcon it and get it out of here,” Ianto suggested to the others, and they nodded, Tosh already making plans to send its ship a good few thousand lightyears away as they picked up the little bear and headed out.
Ianto went through to Jack’s office.
Jack peered cautiously around the far doorway, giving him an anxious look.
“Ianto? Is it gone?”
Ianto nodded, fighting to keep a straight face, and told him, “It’s stunned. The others are taking it back to its ship right now.”
“My hero,” said Jack, in a surprisingly heartfelt tone, and came forward to fling his arms around Ianto, clinging to him and shuddering. Ianto patted his back awkwardly.
“So.”
“What?” Jack asked sheepishly, without letting go of him.
Ianto bit his lip, but had to ask.
“How long have you been afraid of Ewoks?”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-23 06:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-05-23 07:17 pm (UTC)Words to live by, Jack...words to live by!
OMG that was hilarious!
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Date: 2008-05-23 08:05 pm (UTC)Heroic Ianto took care of the big bad Ewok!
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Date: 2008-05-23 08:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-05-23 10:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-05-24 04:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-05-24 10:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-05-24 10:53 am (UTC)Thank you.
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Date: 2008-05-25 01:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-05-25 03:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-05-25 10:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2008-05-27 06:53 pm (UTC)Nicole
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Date: 2008-05-27 10:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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