laligin: (Default)
laligin ([personal profile] laligin) wrote2007-07-01 01:16 pm

Face to Face

Right. I saw the finale of Doctor Who series three, and let's say right here, I was hugely disappointed. Maybe I'll rant in more detail later.

But I'm in denial about one specific thing at the moment (if you've seen it, I'm sure you can guess) so I've written a turnip (that's my word for a "canon is still canon but here's your get-out-of-jail-free card" sort of fic) to prop up what remains of the already wobbly Doctor Who/Torchwood canon.

Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 833
Summary: Jack reminisces a little on something he just told the Doctor and Martha...
Warnings: Spoiler for DW Series 3 episode 13 - though only that one little thing.

By the way - this is now my canon. Apologies to those of you who disagree, no offence intended.

A/N: Oh yeah. And there's plenty of canon that defies the little revelation. It just doesn't work. RTD hasn't been keeping track of what he himself has written regarding the whole issue. Clearly he just threw the line in to round Jack off in DW and give the fans some closure on him - whether it makes any flipping sense or not. Which it doesn't. Gack. I'm not getting started on that. Have escapist denial fic instead.

Face to Face
(or Jack's Ego May Be Out Of Control, But He's Not That Big-Headed)

Jack shoves his hands in his pockets and heads for the paving stone lift, smiling to himself. The Face of Boe. He hasn’t thought of that in years. That had been quite a month.

~*~


Of course, it had been the media that had started the whole business. They’d thought it was hilarious to give a twenty year old Human boy from a backwater little planet the same nickname as a forty thousand year old Oroiodron who’d travelled the universe. They’d even gone so far as to arrange a meeting between the two – his mother had kept all the holographs, always been showing off the one of him with his arm resting on old Boe’s head, both of them smiling broadly for their audience (he’d had the nerve to tell Boe a few of his filthier jokes when he’d discovered the Oroiodron had a wicked sense of humour, but they were tactful enough to claim Boe’s grin was due to him enjoying the fresh air, and the few hours he was allowed to spend out of his tank each day).

Even if the whole set-up had just been to please the media, it had still been a brilliant day for Jack. He and Boe had talked for hours – though admittedly the Oroiodron hadn’t talked so much, more used his telepathy to show Jack what his youth had been.

Jack was sure he’d never forget those scenes of Boe’s home planet, with groups of Oroiodrons (such giants compared to humans) playing and living peacefully, running on three legs through fields bigger than Jack’s home city, four arms always moving in a complex visual language (since telepathy was reserved for use with close friends and family – and he’d felt truly honoured when he’d found that out).

Seeing inside someone’s head like that was a sure fire way of getting attached to them. He’d only just managed not to burst into tears when he’d hugged as much of old Boe as he could reach before they sealed him back up in his tank again. Boe had neatly stopped him from crying by giving him a compressed telepathic glimpse of some of the many places he’d visited (and letting him know how to explore the memories at his leisure later on) and then wishing the Time Agency’s newest recruit as much good luck as he could spare. And then he’d told him an outrageously dirty joke involving a Tlethan, a Karide and a Human going to a bar. Jack remembered laughing until his sides hurt, and only daring to tell a few others in the Time Agency the joke, it was so filthy.

The meeting had been reported with delight in the local sector (headlines had dredged up every old pun they could find – Two Faced; Face to Face; Not Just A Pretty Face!; Face Off and far too many more), he’d been recognised everywhere he went for the week remaining before he shipped out, and then he’d been gone from home for a year, as per Time Agency directives.

(When he’d gone back at last, he’d found the hype had vanished – mostly because two girls (twins) had made it into the Agency as well, barely eight months after him. The media was a fickle mistress, he discovered. But he didn’t much care. He didn’t want the adulation of an ignorant public any more – he’d had to torture and kill on his last mission, and when he cried for hours in his mother’s arms, all he could bear to tell her was that life in the Agency wasn’t as great as he’d expected. (He felt sorry for the two girls – never did find out what happened to them in the end.) She’d told him repeatedly that it didn’t matter what happened, she’d love him no matter what, and he’d sworn he’d keep trying to make her proud. From then on she’d played down his fame – less of the, “My son, the Time Agent…” and more of simply, “My son…” – and, to his great relief, he’d dropped off the radar with no further ado.

The next time he’d gone back, she was dead. It was a small comfort that she didn’t live to see him turn criminal.)

~*~


Reaching the paving stone, Jack pauses for a second, wondering if he should have mentioned the original Face of Boe to the Doctor and Martha. Then he shakes his head, laughing to himself – what does it matter? It’s not as if they can get mixed up between him and old Boe, is it? The difference in species would be a bit of a giveaway to start with!

Grinning to himself now, trying to remember how that joke went (it started “A Tlethan, a Karide and a Human walk into a bar. They each order a hypervodka…” but where did it go from there again?), Jack hops onto the lift and activates it.

If he’s lucky, the team will have been back from the Himalayas long enough for Ianto to make some coffee.

[identity profile] donutsweeper.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:10 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG I love this!! Now I can think of that horrid bit of nonsense and not cringe!!!!

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you most kindly. I'm relieved - some people seem to like the idea, despite the fact that Jack's meant to be "a fact" and a fixed point in time, so ageing and changing is actually beyond him, and the whole "You're wrong" bit and argh. I'm going to have to rant about it, aren't I?

*hugs* Thank you for liking it, though. :)

[identity profile] lyore.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Loved this! I have invented many and varied ways of getting around this (of varying plausibility), but I think I may also adopt yours as my personal canon. I may have to pimp this fic.

(Oh, and while I loved the idea, I should also mention my love is also for the fic itself - well-written and in characters, and I love the idea of the Face of Boe with a dirty sense of humour.)

Anyone else thinking that we need a 'Why Jack Isn't The Face of Boe' ficathon now?

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! By all means take it as your canon and spread the joyful word. ^_^

(And yeah. He's a head in a jar. He's got to keep himself amused somehow... Making up dirty jokes has got to turn up somewhere on the list of things to do. ^_^)

And yes. Yes, yes, yes. That's a brilliant idea. Make it so!

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[identity profile] phantomreviewer.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay!

Someone else who is like WTF is going on with Jack being Boe

I really like this expanation!

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:16 pm (UTC)(link)
:D Thanks a bundle! I wouldn't mind so much if RTD had bothered to make it make any sense whatsoever. He's lost his way...

Glad you like! Spread the word! ^_^

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[identity profile] taffimai.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:12 pm (UTC)(link)
*cheers wildly*

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)
*dances and hugs you* Thank you! I'm so glad I'm not the only one digging my heels in about this. :) I don't normally get so annoyed by anything that turns up in canon, because I can usually work with it. But this... No. Just no.

Eheh.

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[identity profile] jadesfire2808.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:22 pm (UTC)(link)
It really didn't bother me, but this is genius. I love the concept, the puns, the jokes and the set up. And Jack's mum *sniff*

Great stuff :) Will definitely be reccing around

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Eheh, thanke. It just annoys the hell out of me because of all of the "fixed point in time" and "It's hard even just looking at you" and so on that was set up in previous canon. It sounded like a quick shoehorned-in line to finish Jack off in DW, rather than a thought-through story arc that was consistent and planned. I have no problem with the idea of Jack becoming so friendly, benevolent and powerful in the form of Boe, but there are far too many plot-holes unresolved for me to accept it as it stands.

Anyway, back to the fic... ^_^'

I'm very glad you liked it in itself. I'm really going to have to work out how that joke ends now... Probably involves some detailed knowledge of Tlethan and Karide physiology, no doubt. :)

Thank you again!
order_of_chaos: (Default)

[personal profile] order_of_chaos 2007-07-01 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I like turnips. Turnips are good!
*crumbles into laughter*

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:33 pm (UTC)(link)
:D Eheh. Thanke. There's a twisted reason why I call them turnips, but it's not particularly interesting. *pats fic*

Glad you likey. ;)

[identity profile] elethoniel.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh brilliant!!
See this makes so much more sense than any of last nights episode did. This is my new canon, thank you so much. ♥

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! Share my canon! ^_^ See, I'm all for the making-sense, and you're right, an awful lot of last night's episode wandered vaguely as a cloud with no memory of any previous DW eps...

[identity profile] ladyharkness.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:32 pm (UTC)(link)
This is officially my canon now :)

I love it, amazing. I think its also the cheeky kind of thing Jack would do to throw the Doctor too.

Well done you *bows down* Now if we could just get you on the writing team :D

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Yays! I'm glad you like it so. ^_^ Poor Jack has no idea what he's just done to the Doctor's mind... :D

Kah, if only I was... I can imagine the meetings, with me standing on my chair jumping up and down shrieking, "But that's contradicting stuff you said in episode 12 of series 1! We can't do that!" and promptly getting fired.

[identity profile] nnwest.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Here because [livejournal.com profile] jadesfire2808 sent me.

Thank you for this! I really needed it after yesterday. :D

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
^_^ Hee. Glad you liked! We unite in the face of nonsense! ;)

[identity profile] frock.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Haha, fantastic!

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay! ^_^ Thank you most kindly, I'm very glad you think so.

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[identity profile] kiltfriction.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Ahh, I feel so much better now :D In my head this shall be deemed as canon!

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)
^_^ Yay, another new member for the pseudo-canon. Welcome aboard the good ship Denial. ;)

[identity profile] joulez217.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 01:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Well you know I always like your fics. But I really didn't have a problem with Jack being Boe thing, although I will admit I put my hands over my mouth for a good five minutes, before remembering breathing was essiental to me living!

I do however, like this as well. Ah I can have them both as my canon right? Please say I can? Besides I can easily just forget about that whole thing, I've got some retcon somewhere around!

I like this, I really did! Heehee and I can just so picture Jack telling jokes to Boe, and vice versa! Heheee well done:d

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't mind the idea in theory - it's just the fact that it contradicts existing canon in so many ways it's unbelievable that has me chewing up the scenery at the moment. If anyone can rationalise it and make it fit nicely to my satisfaction, perhaps I'll calm down. ;)

Yeah, you can have multiple canons. ^_^ Feel free.

Eheh. I wrote it past midnight, so it was a bit like, "Jack meets the Face of Boe. Clearly he can't really flirt with him that much. What's his next course of action? Aha! Filthy jokes!"

My mind is a strange place to be. ;)

But thank you. I'm glad you liked it. ^_^

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silver_sun: (Default)

[personal profile] silver_sun 2007-07-01 02:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I like this, makes a lot more sense that taking what Jack said at face value(omg the pun).

My own theory is that at some time in the not to far future Jack give his immortality and accidentally some of his memories (so as to explain how the face knew the whole YANA thing - Jack gets to keep all his own memories though as it wouldn't be fair for him to lose anymore of them.)to save an alien race of giant heads from extinction. One of the heads is called Boe. Cue lots of Jack flirting with somebody (or head) with the same name as he had/once used.

So glad it's not just me who's more than a little squicked out by the idea of somebody having to live for several millenia while turning into a giant head. I mean that has so not got to be a good experience.

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:28 pm (UTC)(link)
*cackles* Hurrah, more puns! :D

Hai, maybe. I quite like that theory. A little bit of telepathy here and there, and Boe picks up some hints about the Doctor... Works much better within canon than the Jack-evolves-despite-being-a-fixed-point-in-time idea. Nicely. ;)

It's the canon impossibilities that irritate me more than any squicky evolution ideas (though I do think Jack would be quite upset at losing his good looks, however slowly). But yeah.

Jack not Boe.

Lali has spoken! :D

[identity profile] shadowbyrd.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I love. Thank you.

Also, Jack and Mom...I love.

Thank you.

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you.

(I couldn't resist a bit of backstory and weight to it. It appeared in my head, thus it got written. Glad you like.)

^_^

[identity profile] sabletto.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh Thank you for that- twas lovely. See, I really thought they liked him, Captain Jack. So I can't imagine how they thought condemning such an active, tactile, vibrant (not to forget vain) character to the loss of every extremity but an overgrown leathery old mutated face was anything but cruel. Lots of things to dislike about lasts night offering but I honestly think I've been disturbed by this more than anything. It's all good now though, my peace of mind has been restored by your writing.

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:56 pm (UTC)(link)
^_^ Happy to help. It was more the consistency within RTD's own writing that infuriated me - things like the Face of Boe mentioning that he would only ever meet the Doctor three times... Gah. It just doesn't work and never will. I hold to my fic. :)

Glad you liked, though. ^_^

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[identity profile] bane-huntress.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:45 pm (UTC)(link)
EEK! Fantastic! Wish I could have read this last night before I got insomnia cos my head wouldnt shut up till 6am >_<.
least I'll get a good night sleep tonight! ^_^

*huggis* for my sanity! ^_^

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee. I was up till midnight ranting to my mum about it, then this hit me, and by one o'clock I was happily asleep. ;)

*hugs back* So happy to help. :)

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[identity profile] selskia.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:46 pm (UTC)(link)
You are amazing. And a brain saver.

*gives huge sigh of relief*

And bwahaha, joining you in the notsobigheaded comm, for it is brilliant.

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:59 pm (UTC)(link)
^_^ Eheh. Most happy to help! And yes, join the comm! I'll be proposing a "Jack's Not Boe!" ficathon soon enough. ;)

Thanke, glad you liked it!

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[identity profile] miss-zedem.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 02:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh thank you - I'm desperately clinging to the hope that RTD realises how much he's contradicted his own canon, and it all turns out to be an elaborate joke. This definitely helps in my self-delusion!

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:02 pm (UTC)(link)
:) Do you think he'd listen if I printed it out and sent it to him care of BBC Wales...?

Not likely, eh? Didn't think so.

Glad you liked it, though. This is my canon from now on! It's the only way I can keep myself watching/writing Torchwood...

I'm getting the impression RTD really doesn't care about continuity, no matter how much of a fanboy he claims to be.

Anyway. Thank you for reading and enjoying it. ^_^
katsuko: image of a lighthouse (Default)

[personal profile] katsuko 2007-07-01 03:10 pm (UTC)(link)
By the way - this is now my canon.

May I adopt your canon as mine, too, please? *wibble eyes*

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course you can. :) And welcome to it. That's what it's for. ;)

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apollymi: Bakura & Kaiba fanart commission, text reads "Apollymi" (Default)

[personal profile] apollymi 2007-07-01 03:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I got here through [livejournal.com profile] nnwest.

Thank you. Thank you so much. I've been screaming at my poor flat-mate (a.k.a [livejournal.com profile] katsuko of the above comment) since last night that there was no way Jack could turn into flipper face Boe, even after millions of years.

I'm reccing this all over the place -- and I think it's now my new canon.

And again, thank you.

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:33 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm delighted you like it so much. :) Thank you most kindly!

Join the new wave of canon! ^_^
ext_10830: Jewellrey (Default)

[identity profile] glitterfairy25.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:20 pm (UTC)(link)
It's my new canon too. Can I link in my journal?

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course you can. :) Welcome to the new canon. ;)

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[identity profile] fairyd123.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh bless you! I hated the revelation to the extent that I'm just going to forget it ever happened. This is much better!

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
^_^ I do my best not to deny canon... Just to twist it so that I can work with it. ;)

Glad you liked it, hope it helped! ^_^

[identity profile] therandomgirlie.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay! Why can't this be true???? I am so pissed off at RTD.
This might just become my canon too. Jack as Boe haters unite! (JABH for short)

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
:D Sounds like you need our comm - [livejournal.com profile] notsobigheaded.

Pretend it's true if you like. It's not as if they're ever going to come back to the idea in DW or TW - their record with continuity is pretty dreadful, really.

[identity profile] wonderfulwrites.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:33 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know you, but I love you. And I joined your comm because I refuse to believe Jack is literally the Face of Boe.

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Awh. *is loved* ^_^ Welcome to the new canon!

Glad you liked it so!

[identity profile] emily-sheppard.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
This makes so much more sense.

Brilliant!

[identity profile] laligin.livejournal.com 2007-07-01 04:01 pm (UTC)(link)
^_^ I'm very glad you think so! Thank you!

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