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Begin at the Beginning
Fandom: Torchwood (shock horror!)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Word Count: 1000 (10 drabbles of exactly 100 words each)
Warnings: Fairly dark, but with hopeful endings…
Summary: Any relationship in Torchwood was always going to be surrounded by death and destruction. The trick is making it work in spite of that...
Prompt: Jantolution Challenge #12, A Tale Told Backward (plus tachyons...)
Begin at the Beginning
“The end is where we start,” he says, and Ianto stays exactly where he is, any desire to curl into the safety of Jack’s arms killed stone dead by that simple statement. And Jack doesn’t try to reel him in – perhaps, for once, he understands. Maybe he’s seen it too, that everything between them, every new start, every step forward that Ianto treasures, is marred by ends.
And hours later, Jack tells him, with the gaping wounds of Tosh and Owen’s deaths still raw, that he loves him. He has a talent for poisoning Ianto’s grief with happiness like that.
~*~
Everyone’s cleaned up well and the wedding has finally gone ahead, and as Ianto fills in for the DJ he wonders at the fact that the rest of the crowd seem to have forgotten a man died today. But it has him thinking again, about how unpredictable life is. And here’s Gwen seizing her day with both hands – and he’s been with Torchwood nearly four years, and there’s a good reason why they hand out medals at five. Few people make it.
He puts on a romantic song and goes to find Jack, no matter how many people are watching.
~*~
Ianto looks at Jack sometimes and knows, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Jack will never abandon him. He can’t say how he’s so sure, but it’s a glorious feeling to know that someone will always stand by him, always believe in him, however bad things might get. So he surrenders to it, and starts to trust him implicitly in return.
(He waits for Jack in the dark, knowing that his life is over, it’s all finished, he’s lost everything, but Jack refuses to believe it’s true, tells him, “This is not you,” and he starts to hope again.)
~*~
Tommy’s slipping out of Tosh’s reach, going back because he has no choice, and it breaks Ianto’s heart to see her lose someone again. And it scares him, reminds him (as if he’d ever forget) that no matter how many times you recover and dare to love someone new, you can always lose them too. No one’s safe.
But Jack looks him in the eye and comes as close to promising he’ll never leave as he’s ever going to get. Ianto accepts that, promises in a kiss that he won’t ask for anything more. There’s nothing more he wants, anyway.
~*~
When they finally get around to that date, it’s a bad time again. Beth’s dead and Gwen’s bereft, and they’re both distracted for most of the evening. Despite that, something about the night, about having dinner together, switching off for a few hours to go and see a film, is soothing. Relaxing, even though Ianto keeps wondering if this is how it’s going to be – when things get bad they’ll go out and distract each other, but otherwise Jack would rather play with the tachyon accelerator back at the Hub.
Then Jack asks, “You free tomorrow night?” and Ianto smiles.
~*~
With Jack laid out in the morgue, Ianto finds himself hiding in Jack’s office, pretending to tidy. He tells himself he feels nothing. He tries to believe he doesn’t care about losing Jack, even that he’s glad he lived to see Jack dead, but it won’t stick. Because he’s started to care, whether he wants to admit it or not. And with that thought he dissolves into tears with his face buried in Jack’s coat. He hates always being too late.
Except this time he’s not. Jack gets up and kisses him, and Ianto wonders if maybe he cares too.
~*~
Jack leans on him as they enter the Hub, eyes half closed, unsteady on his feet. He’s been silent ever since Ianto found him in the garage. He moves where Ianto guides him, responds to nothing Ianto says, looks right through him when he tries to make eye contact. So Ianto helps him to bed, because there’s no one else to do it, and tucks him in and turns to leave.
“Stay,” Jack mutters, voice hoarse (after however long he spent breathing exhaust fumes, that doesn’t surprise Ianto). He is surprised when Jack adds, pleadingly, “I need you.”
Ianto stays.
~*~
It’s a mark of how badly Torchwood screws you up, Ianto reflects, that he finds himself propositioning Jack over the redead body of a woman who should have been called their friend. And neither of them finds it odd. But it’s just a much-needed favour, anyway. He’s helping Jack because Jack’s been looking out for him, in his own way, and it’s time to pay back a little of what he owes the Captain. A little care and attention, as required. That’s all. The warmth he feels when Jack smiles at him is completely irrelevant.
He’s just paying his debts.
~*~
He’s bruised inside and outside, shaken, still scared and at a loss for his next move, and somehow when the last of the villagers has been taken away Ianto ends up in Jack’s care. Instead of taking him to hospital, or even back to the Hub, Jack takes him to a wine bar and they sit at a table out on the pavement, nursing their drinks in silence. Eventually, Jack puts a hand on Ianto’s arm and tells him, “Whenever you want to talk, I’ll listen.”
Ianto says more in the next few hours than in the last six months.
~*~
It’s Jack who picks him up from the bloodstained floor, eventually. He sends the others out, pulls Ianto to his feet, then holds him close and lets him cry. He whispers that he knows, he really does, he understands, and maybe he’ll even forgive Ianto eventually. He says he’ll wait for Ianto to understand, he knows it’s too close now but one day it’ll all be clear, and he’s sorry it had to be done but not sorry he did it, and he keeps repeating, “It’ll be alright. It’ll be alright.”
Ianto starts to believe him.
They’ll always be alright.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Word Count: 1000 (10 drabbles of exactly 100 words each)
Warnings: Fairly dark, but with hopeful endings…
Summary: Any relationship in Torchwood was always going to be surrounded by death and destruction. The trick is making it work in spite of that...
Prompt: Jantolution Challenge #12, A Tale Told Backward (plus tachyons...)
Begin at the Beginning
“The end is where we start,” he says, and Ianto stays exactly where he is, any desire to curl into the safety of Jack’s arms killed stone dead by that simple statement. And Jack doesn’t try to reel him in – perhaps, for once, he understands. Maybe he’s seen it too, that everything between them, every new start, every step forward that Ianto treasures, is marred by ends.
And hours later, Jack tells him, with the gaping wounds of Tosh and Owen’s deaths still raw, that he loves him. He has a talent for poisoning Ianto’s grief with happiness like that.
Everyone’s cleaned up well and the wedding has finally gone ahead, and as Ianto fills in for the DJ he wonders at the fact that the rest of the crowd seem to have forgotten a man died today. But it has him thinking again, about how unpredictable life is. And here’s Gwen seizing her day with both hands – and he’s been with Torchwood nearly four years, and there’s a good reason why they hand out medals at five. Few people make it.
He puts on a romantic song and goes to find Jack, no matter how many people are watching.
Ianto looks at Jack sometimes and knows, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Jack will never abandon him. He can’t say how he’s so sure, but it’s a glorious feeling to know that someone will always stand by him, always believe in him, however bad things might get. So he surrenders to it, and starts to trust him implicitly in return.
(He waits for Jack in the dark, knowing that his life is over, it’s all finished, he’s lost everything, but Jack refuses to believe it’s true, tells him, “This is not you,” and he starts to hope again.)
Tommy’s slipping out of Tosh’s reach, going back because he has no choice, and it breaks Ianto’s heart to see her lose someone again. And it scares him, reminds him (as if he’d ever forget) that no matter how many times you recover and dare to love someone new, you can always lose them too. No one’s safe.
But Jack looks him in the eye and comes as close to promising he’ll never leave as he’s ever going to get. Ianto accepts that, promises in a kiss that he won’t ask for anything more. There’s nothing more he wants, anyway.
When they finally get around to that date, it’s a bad time again. Beth’s dead and Gwen’s bereft, and they’re both distracted for most of the evening. Despite that, something about the night, about having dinner together, switching off for a few hours to go and see a film, is soothing. Relaxing, even though Ianto keeps wondering if this is how it’s going to be – when things get bad they’ll go out and distract each other, but otherwise Jack would rather play with the tachyon accelerator back at the Hub.
Then Jack asks, “You free tomorrow night?” and Ianto smiles.
With Jack laid out in the morgue, Ianto finds himself hiding in Jack’s office, pretending to tidy. He tells himself he feels nothing. He tries to believe he doesn’t care about losing Jack, even that he’s glad he lived to see Jack dead, but it won’t stick. Because he’s started to care, whether he wants to admit it or not. And with that thought he dissolves into tears with his face buried in Jack’s coat. He hates always being too late.
Except this time he’s not. Jack gets up and kisses him, and Ianto wonders if maybe he cares too.
Jack leans on him as they enter the Hub, eyes half closed, unsteady on his feet. He’s been silent ever since Ianto found him in the garage. He moves where Ianto guides him, responds to nothing Ianto says, looks right through him when he tries to make eye contact. So Ianto helps him to bed, because there’s no one else to do it, and tucks him in and turns to leave.
“Stay,” Jack mutters, voice hoarse (after however long he spent breathing exhaust fumes, that doesn’t surprise Ianto). He is surprised when Jack adds, pleadingly, “I need you.”
Ianto stays.
It’s a mark of how badly Torchwood screws you up, Ianto reflects, that he finds himself propositioning Jack over the redead body of a woman who should have been called their friend. And neither of them finds it odd. But it’s just a much-needed favour, anyway. He’s helping Jack because Jack’s been looking out for him, in his own way, and it’s time to pay back a little of what he owes the Captain. A little care and attention, as required. That’s all. The warmth he feels when Jack smiles at him is completely irrelevant.
He’s just paying his debts.
He’s bruised inside and outside, shaken, still scared and at a loss for his next move, and somehow when the last of the villagers has been taken away Ianto ends up in Jack’s care. Instead of taking him to hospital, or even back to the Hub, Jack takes him to a wine bar and they sit at a table out on the pavement, nursing their drinks in silence. Eventually, Jack puts a hand on Ianto’s arm and tells him, “Whenever you want to talk, I’ll listen.”
Ianto says more in the next few hours than in the last six months.
It’s Jack who picks him up from the bloodstained floor, eventually. He sends the others out, pulls Ianto to his feet, then holds him close and lets him cry. He whispers that he knows, he really does, he understands, and maybe he’ll even forgive Ianto eventually. He says he’ll wait for Ianto to understand, he knows it’s too close now but one day it’ll all be clear, and he’s sorry it had to be done but not sorry he did it, and he keeps repeating, “It’ll be alright. It’ll be alright.”
Ianto starts to believe him.
They’ll always be alright.
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What a beautiful line!
The reversed course of the relationship snippets made it all clearer, more real somehow.
And btw, still sorting though my saved fics to come up with some more tempting recs for you :)
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I just loved it.
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(Anonymous) 2008-08-01 02:40 pm (UTC)(link)(no subject)
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Mine will be up by the end of tonight - beta or no beta!
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