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Entry tags:
Party People
Fandom: Torchwood (shock horror!)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 707
Summary: It's just another normal day at Torchwood - but someone's had a good night...
Prompt: For the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
torch_wood "Penblwydd Hapus" Challenge (which translates as Happy Birthday, I believe). "An unexpected gift arrives at the Hub on their anniversary" from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
riftugee (Whose username I love, by the way)
Warnings: It's a tad cracky. And the prompt got a little twisted...
Party People
Ianto was following his usual routine just like any other day. He’d arrived at the Tourist Information Office early, and spent a few minutes checking up on everything in there to catch anything out of place (it was a tactic that had given them early warning of invasion twice already, so he kept up the habit) before heading down to the kitchenette to make the first coffee of the day for himself and Jack.
That was when he spotted the cake.
It was a large chocolate gateau, sitting on one of the worktops, with roughly a quarter missing and iced writing on the rest, reading, “Penblwydd Hapus” above the gap, and a “T” and “D” either side. Frowning, he tried to call Jack via his headset to ask what was going on, but got no reply.
The cake wasn’t dangerous, though he was a tad annoyed that Jack had already seen fit to help himself to more than his fair share, so he finished making the coffee and went down to the main area of the Hub, then made his way towards Jack’s office.
He’d only just got to the top of the steps when he noticed that something else was wrong. Hurriedly, he put the two mugs down on the coffee table by the couch (not even pausing to find coasters for them) and dashed through to Jack’s office.
The place was a mess. The drinks cabinet was wide open and empty, the filing cabinets had been knocked sideways, and the desk had been overturned, scattering papers and ornaments all across the floor. He found Jack’s headset by the coral. Pausing to set the coral back on its stand and put it out of the way, he called cautiously, “Jack?”
There was a bang from underneath the desk, and a very muffled shout of, “Ianto, get me out!”
Ianto waded through the paperwork to get to the desk and spent the next five minutes struggling to haul it off the hatch in the floor. When he finally managed that, the hatch was shoved open from the inside, and Jack dragged himself out, already starting to snap, “What took so long?” before he noticed the state his office was in.
“What the hell is going on?” he asked.
“I was about to ask you the same, sir,” Ianto told him, and Jack blinked.
“I don’t know. I’ve been locked in my room all night. The power went off about one this morning, but I never even made it out to see what the problem was.”
Ianto frowned, and went to check the CCTV from Tosh’s computer. There hadn’t been any alerts, but the power seemed to have cut out for two and a half hours, as Jack said. There were no recordings during that time.
“There’s a birthday cake in the kitchen,” he told Jack. “That wasn’t there when I left.”
“Wasn’t me,” Jack shrugged. “I was in my room pretty much since you left. Didn’t see anything or hear anything until the power went and someone decided to turn my desk over.”
“The power went,” Ianto repeated, with a sudden cold realisation. “Jack, if the backup systems didn’t kick in then the cells will have opened.”
Jack paused for a moment, then pulled his gun from the holster to check it, while Ianto detoured to the armoury and fetched himself a gun as well. Together they headed for the lower levels.
The first Weevil cell was empty. So was the second.
Jack and Ianto exchanged wary glances, and edged forwards, glancing ahead and behind as they went. In the fourth cell, they found all four of their permanent residents, and stopped in their tracks.
Three of the Weevils were sprawled out on the floor, asleep, whisky bottles scattered beside them, while the fourth was still sitting upright and blinking at Jack and Ianto. All four Weevils had party hats on, and the one awake tilted its head and blew on a party squeaker, with a merry little chirp.
“Well,” Ianto said, putting the safety catch back on his gun. “I think we can learn something from this, sir.”
Jack managed to stop staring at the Weevils long enough to ask, “Huh?”
“Weevils can bake,” said Ianto.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 707
Summary: It's just another normal day at Torchwood - but someone's had a good night...
Prompt: For the
torch_wood "Penblwydd Hapus" Challenge (which translates as Happy Birthday, I believe). "An unexpected gift arrives at the Hub on their anniversary" from riftugee (Whose username I love, by the way)Warnings: It's a tad cracky. And the prompt got a little twisted...
Party People
Ianto was following his usual routine just like any other day. He’d arrived at the Tourist Information Office early, and spent a few minutes checking up on everything in there to catch anything out of place (it was a tactic that had given them early warning of invasion twice already, so he kept up the habit) before heading down to the kitchenette to make the first coffee of the day for himself and Jack.
That was when he spotted the cake.
It was a large chocolate gateau, sitting on one of the worktops, with roughly a quarter missing and iced writing on the rest, reading, “Penblwydd Hapus” above the gap, and a “T” and “D” either side. Frowning, he tried to call Jack via his headset to ask what was going on, but got no reply.
The cake wasn’t dangerous, though he was a tad annoyed that Jack had already seen fit to help himself to more than his fair share, so he finished making the coffee and went down to the main area of the Hub, then made his way towards Jack’s office.
He’d only just got to the top of the steps when he noticed that something else was wrong. Hurriedly, he put the two mugs down on the coffee table by the couch (not even pausing to find coasters for them) and dashed through to Jack’s office.
The place was a mess. The drinks cabinet was wide open and empty, the filing cabinets had been knocked sideways, and the desk had been overturned, scattering papers and ornaments all across the floor. He found Jack’s headset by the coral. Pausing to set the coral back on its stand and put it out of the way, he called cautiously, “Jack?”
There was a bang from underneath the desk, and a very muffled shout of, “Ianto, get me out!”
Ianto waded through the paperwork to get to the desk and spent the next five minutes struggling to haul it off the hatch in the floor. When he finally managed that, the hatch was shoved open from the inside, and Jack dragged himself out, already starting to snap, “What took so long?” before he noticed the state his office was in.
“What the hell is going on?” he asked.
“I was about to ask you the same, sir,” Ianto told him, and Jack blinked.
“I don’t know. I’ve been locked in my room all night. The power went off about one this morning, but I never even made it out to see what the problem was.”
Ianto frowned, and went to check the CCTV from Tosh’s computer. There hadn’t been any alerts, but the power seemed to have cut out for two and a half hours, as Jack said. There were no recordings during that time.
“There’s a birthday cake in the kitchen,” he told Jack. “That wasn’t there when I left.”
“Wasn’t me,” Jack shrugged. “I was in my room pretty much since you left. Didn’t see anything or hear anything until the power went and someone decided to turn my desk over.”
“The power went,” Ianto repeated, with a sudden cold realisation. “Jack, if the backup systems didn’t kick in then the cells will have opened.”
Jack paused for a moment, then pulled his gun from the holster to check it, while Ianto detoured to the armoury and fetched himself a gun as well. Together they headed for the lower levels.
The first Weevil cell was empty. So was the second.
Jack and Ianto exchanged wary glances, and edged forwards, glancing ahead and behind as they went. In the fourth cell, they found all four of their permanent residents, and stopped in their tracks.
Three of the Weevils were sprawled out on the floor, asleep, whisky bottles scattered beside them, while the fourth was still sitting upright and blinking at Jack and Ianto. All four Weevils had party hats on, and the one awake tilted its head and blew on a party squeaker, with a merry little chirp.
“Well,” Ianto said, putting the safety catch back on his gun. “I think we can learn something from this, sir.”
Jack managed to stop staring at the Weevils long enough to ask, “Huh?”
“Weevils can bake,” said Ianto.
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Very... silly. I love the idea of Jack's hatch getting shut on him. :)
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... in a good way ...
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^_^ Torchwood has an immortal, gun-toting maniac for a leader. How else are you meant to get him out of the way so you can party? :D
Glad you liked it, thank you!
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Glad you liked. ;) Thanke.
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Yes but can they bake well? And where did they get the ingredeints from?
Lovely little bit of crack, thank you!
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I'm sure the gateau was delicious. And Ianto would like me to inform you that he keeps a very well-stocked kitchenette, though he's now going to have to replace his secret chocolate supplies. :P
Glad you liked it. Thank you! ^_^
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(By the way... Nice icon. I want one of those stickers just so I can make it say, "Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." :D)
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(Alas, I can't remember who I nicked the icon from, it's been sitting on my hard drive for ages!!)
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(Ehee, glad you liked. Hope your desk will recover!)
*nicks icon in turn* ;)
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...
Er...
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i feel like it's *my* birthday reading something from one of my prompts. i can't stop giggling over Jack getting trapped in his ubercool underground quarters by his own desk and drunken Weevils baking a cake! (Myself, I like fried egg sandwiches when I'm pissed)
And party hats. OMG, where does a Weevil get a party hat?? hahaha Please someone, Photoshop me a Weevil icon with a party hat. Priceless.
On a more serious note, excellent character voices in this - they both sounded spot on. Thanks for sharing!
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This brought a smile to my face, which is good as I need to go to sleep now...
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Much enjoyed :D
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Lol kiddin' I like this fic, made me smile. Well done :D
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Jack really hasn't thought things through with that snazzy secret bedroom and all. (My flatmates and I made a chocolate cake at 11pm the other night - we were all sober, but that might be where I got it from... ;) )
:D I want a Weevil with a party hat icon, too! If only I had Photoshop on my laptop... :( (And again I'm claiming Ianto's secret supplies for the hats and squeakers. The poor boy lives in anticipation of a spontaneous party.)
And thank you so much for a lovely characterisation comment, too. ^_^ Thanks for reading!
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:D Glad you liked, thanke!
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I'm glad. Hope you slept well, too. ^_^ Thanke!
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Well, they are aliens, their tastebuds are probably somewhat different...
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Glad you liked it, thank you! ^_^
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Glad you liked, thanke!
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I'm in an internet cafe, and I just got some really weird looks, just cos I almost feel off my chair laughing, you'd think that it was something strange!
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Glad you liked it that much, thanke! ^_^ Making people laugh is always fun.
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Weevils and baking! And Party Hats!
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And I've finally added you as a friend, by the way. ;)
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I love your fics!
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Thank you most kindly!
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*tries to compose self*
....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D
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Hee. Glad you liked! ;)
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