laligin: (Default)
Right. So. Lali hasn't been sleeping well recently. Lots of nightmares, including a variation on the old "giant spider on the pillow" one, in the form of "spider dropping towards your face from the ceiling". That kept me up a bit, looking for the blasted thing. Kept me awake longer than the giant robot hell bent on smashing my house down around my ears so it could get to me and kill me. (Torchwood made a brief appearance early on in that and were utterly ineffectual. Even in my dreams they can't achieve basic competence.) But not as bad as last night's combination of house-falling-down-with-me-in-it and SADAKO IS TRYING TO KILL YOU! (Yup, the creepy dead girl from The Ring. She had a go at strangling me while I tried to strangle her and the house fell over.) Which is never fun.

And I think I know why I've been stressy and fitful and having such lovely anxiety dreams and other random waking-up-at-three-in-the-morning stuffs, but never mind.

Anyway, the point is, I got up this morning in a hurry and went to evict Mum from the bathroom as soon as she was finished, with the fateful words, "Could we swap places, please, 'cause I'm about to keel over otherwise."

Mum managed to open the door, at which point I keeled over.

I should point out that this is the second time in my life I've ever fainted. The first time was... standing in the self same bathroom doorway. Then, I woke up on the floor with my head an inch or so from the bathroom scales, and a nosebleed. This time, for a little variety, I went in a different direction. Ie, headfirst into the landing window, apparently bashing my ribs on the windowsill, and collapsing on the stacks of books underneath.

Nothing bleeding, nothing broken, but my nose does hurt.

Gave Mum a hell of a fright, too. :/ She insists it was heat-induced and proceeded to steal my duvet and fling my window open so wide I'll have whole hordes of actual!spiders descending upon me tonight, never mind the hallucinatory ones.

Anyway. Torchwood's back on the radio next week, and on TV the week after, so the Radio Times promises me. It depresses me beyond belief that there haven't been lots and lots of adverts for either. :(

Bad night.

Jul. 13th, 2007 02:20 pm
laligin: (Default)
Didn't sleep well. Tried to go to sleep around eleven (having played with Torchwood ideas for half an hour or so) but didn't drop off until past midnight, I think.

Then woke up before 3. Very dizzy and disoriented. Tried to go back to sleep again and ended up watching my room get lighter and lighter and hearing the birds start singing. May have slightly got to sleep again about 6:30 ish.

I don't remember seeing anything in the 7 or 8 o'clock bands, but 9 came back with a vengeance. More disoriented/dizzy than ever. Tried staying in bed to let the rolling sensations go away.

Got up about 10. Went back to bed again. Could barely walk in a straight line.

Got up for good about 12:15. Still don't feel like I slept.

And I had anxiety dreams again, which is annoying. I mean, I had one the night before the last Guides meeting (water fight in the churchyard) where I dreamed the meeting was meant to be half an hour earlier (6:30) and me and the other leader got stuck at a train station until 7:30. The Guides were not impressed.

Nah. There were a couple of dreams last night. I remembered them this morning, but one was sane and had me wondering if it had actually happened, while the main other one involved people in balaclavas bursting into our house from the back entrance. I went to hide out in the study, locked the door behind me and was heading for the second room at the back (even though there isn't one in reality. I was convinced there was one behind the back wall when I was younger, though, so...) except that despite the sunlight streaming in through the windows at the front, turn around and it was pitch black. And I knew there were piles of stuff between me and the room at the back. Our house is cluttered like that. But whenever I tried to turn the light on, it wouldn't work, and I was starting to split the dream in two by trying to turn back and hit the light switch whilst trying to go forwards and tripping over the black bags and boxes and stuff. I think I tore myself apart and didn't get anywhere.

And then while I was floating in the awake-but-don't-want-to-be-and-back-to-sleep-now-thanke sort of state between 3 and 6 am, I ended up torturing Ianto. Well. Not personally. It was a year-that-never-was fic, and Torchwood survived and got back and came up with an ingenious plan to stage a rescue mission and get Jack out (because they saw him on the initial TV broadcast). It was all going swimmingly. Ianto got caught by Toclafane and teleported up to the Valiant (*coughCloudbasecough*) as per the plan, passed all the scans for weaponry successfully, had a bit of a confrontation with the Master, then managed to escape somewhat and got to Jack and teleported the both of them out.

Except that the Master had a teleport shield type thing (to stop Martha from popping in and out with Jack's Vortex Manipulator) that meant they didn't get off the ship, they just teleported into another room, where there were guards with guns waiting on duty.

Jack got shot. They were both dragged back to the Master, who made a special broadcast to let Torchwood know they'd failed miserably.

And he was intending to cut Ianto's fingers off one by one unless both Jack and Ianto were prepared to do the whole "kneel, call him Master, and beg for mercy" situation. Lovely. I think I'll stop there and not say where the rest went.

Anywho, not going to be writing that. It started off being "There must have been some attempt to resist, and Torchwood are usually fairly heroic, so let's see..." fic, and then got twisted, and I don't like that. I prefer to write happy endings and non-maiming situations, thank you. (Believe it or not.)

(Besides, I can't match up to Paperclipbitch's Master v Ianto situation. (Made My Own Pretty Hate Machine - sadistic and brutal and very downbeat, but brilliant. If you haven't read it yet, what's your excuse? ^_^) I haven't got a chance. Kah.)

Hm. Not particularly pleased with my dreamscape at the moment.

Although the night before last, I dreamt this brilliant Pirates of the Caribbean fic into existence...

Maybe I'll forgive my mind a little.

Scusi, going to write mad Ianto fic now. (That's mad Ianto-fic, not mad-Ianto fic. Although both have a certain appeal...)
laligin: (Default)
Kuh. Look. I just went and retitled all my Torchwood fic posts so that the title of the post is actually the title of the fic.

I'm not sure whether to be pleased about my (eventual) organising skills, or slightly put out that I'm being all conventional. Though it does make it easier to find stuff, I confess. And I do have more than twenty posts tagged as Torchwood fic, now, so it saves me trawling through to find things. *shrugs*

Ah well.

Had another Torchwood dream the other day. Slightly more plot possibility, though it was still strange. Doctor Who involvement, too. The Doctor had redecorated the TARDIS. The central column was now a box on wheels that you could move out of the way if necessary. And he, Martha and Jack (and me, for some reason... :D) came back to Torchwood. Except that everyone had gone weird. We had a meeting in the Boardroom to discuss stuff. Owen was sitting next to Diane. Ianto randomnly had his new girlfriend there, too. Tosh and Gwen were nowhere to be seen. And then, later on, when Jack started getting attacked by a flock of alien birds or something (bigger than the sparkles, though that may have had something to do with it...) Owen, Diane and Ianto were all stood on one of the walkways watching, and Owen was looking bored silly, but Ianto was laughing hysterically. Until he stopped suddenly, wandered over to the water tower, yanked a panel off, stuck a hand in and ripped out something. (Wires? Boards? Random alien creature living inside? I'm fairly sure it was the latter... Might even have been the birds' nest...) And subsequently saved the day, though nobody was too grateful about it.

And again with the flickering perspective. I have this problem with based-on-something dreams. There's no real place for me, so even if I'm sometimes there watching, I know I shouldn't be, and sometimes randomnly jump into someone else's perspective to better fit into the scenario. Except that I know I can't be them, and so jump back out into myself again.

I should really write something with this stuff, or it'll drive me up the wall thinking about it.

Yeah. Stuff. There's other stuff happening too. Like LJMU. I got my accomodation booklet, and I'm fairly sure about which set of housing I want to be in. Free Broadband access may have had something to do with that decision. Possibly. ;)

Other stuff? There must be something. Tchah.

I need lunch. Byebye.


Mar. 4th, 2007 05:51 pm
laligin: (Default)
I had a Torchwood dream. And while, on the face of it, that sounds great, it involved a Weevil addicted to tomato ketchup (too many leftover MacDonald's) eating Gwen's face. Then attacking Ianto. And Owen being Jewish (?) and evil, and trying to convince Tosh to shave her head and join a cult. Tosh ran away in terror.

Jack was only watching on the sidelines. He seemed distracted.

So... Not so good. No grand plot for scripts for season two... Wish ungranted. *sigh*
laligin: (Default)
I've been dreaming a lot recently. That's unusual for me - it also means I'm not sleeping as deeply or well as normal.

A few strange ones. Plenty of things where (to quote myself, kinda ^_^) it's easy to see where my subconscious is coming from... And then one the other day that had me and mum out on holiday in this nice sunny little rural village (Brecon Beacons, anyone? Eep...) and staying in a farmhouse hotel type place. All very nice, all the other guests very nice, all the border collies etc very nice.

Then my teeth started breaking up and I kept having to pick pieces out of my mouth to stop myself from swallowing them. I lost three teeth in many shards, and could feel the gaps in my gums... Not nice. Especially considering that when I was at Retsi's, she mentioned dreaming about having her teeth pulled, and I commented that I'd never had dreams like that, goodness me no, how strange.

Looks like I've now got to the point where I'm managing to control my dreams just by commenting on what I haven't had before.

You know, I haven't ever dreamed of a really fantastically brilliant Torchwood plot that would work beautifully in season two that I could type up as a script and send off to RTD...

*looks hopeful*



Jan. 24th, 2007 06:25 pm
laligin: (Default)
Went to my Grandad's 80th Birthday party over the weekend. 250 miles-ish each way. Took my laptop.

So I wrote Torchwood fic for half the journey. ^_^

The party was quite fun. Lots of crazy relatives, a very nice meal, loads of talking and teasing and suchlike. Met a fair few of said crazy relatives that I've never met before, had a few of them try to talk me into going to Cambridge instead of LJMU... Ha. No.

And had weird dreams. Again.

One I can't remember so well - there were three girls being taught magic, somehow I wound up being one of them, and getting very freaked out when I realised that the teacher had the name of one of my characters, and had also written the book we were learning from. There was a fight between me and the other girls. And I'm annoyed I can't remember it any more than that, because the magic/training system was new and original and I liked it. And I've forgotten it.

The other one was another chase dream. I was walking home after school (but on unfamiliar streets - not my home town) and there was a group of boys ahead of me. One of them was being bullied by the others. It started to get physical, with them pushing him around and beginning to hit him, and then one of the three girls walking ahead of them stopped, and started to walk back. I felt quite worried for her, because I didn't think it was a good idea to step in - she could get hurt. And then I was her, going back to help the boy being bullied.

I pulled him away, and we ran for it. Everything got a bit confused after that. We went running across streets and down alleys, with this massive crowd of school-people following us, howling for our blood. At one point we climbed some railings around a graveyard, but there were benches crowded in there, and we went hopping from the back of one bench to another until I spotted a friend of mine (Griffin!) sitting on one of the benches, and we went to sit beside her. The swarm of school-people hunting us came in over the railings, but didn't see us. So we slipped out again, and when they tried to follow, Griffin double-bluffed them. She pointed after us and said we'd gone that way, but they wouldn't believe her because she was my friend, and went the other way.

We ran through a load of alleyways and so on, and then came to a flat brick wall we couldn't get over. We were cornered.

And I woke up.

Yeah. Weird. But Torchwood fic is going well.


Dec. 29th, 2006 10:39 am
laligin: (Default)
Let's get the unimportant stuff out of the way first. Lali passed her driving test today. Second time lucky? *shrug* Whatever.

Now. Been having weird dreams recently - with some recurring elements. A little... concerned.

Dream One:

This started off when I seemed to be visiting my next door neighbour. She's moved house recently, so I'd gone to see her, and the dogs (two gorgeous Border Collies) were delighted to see me. Didn't want me to leave. Anyway. Left eventually, with my school backpack. Went out and I was at the back of a building, with a row of patio doors and a long paved walkway in front of me. There were rows of gardens to the other side. And somehow I knew this was a hotel.

So I was on my way back to the room my family and I were staying in... And it gets a little confused here. I can't quite remember how everything happened, but I became aware that the hotel (which was at the back of a museum - ?) had been taken over by terrorists. All anonymous white men... American? German? English? No idea. Anyway. I was on the loose. The only one still out free. And I was trying to escape, to fetch help. I got chased indoors by a couple of guards (armed with machine guns) lost them in the corridors, and went down a flight of steps to get outside again. Except that a third guard stepped out, with a pistol. Held me at gunpoint. I stopped, dropped my backpack, hands up and all that. I was pretty sure it was all over... But he stepped forward and went for the backpack, maybe assuming I had some weapons or something in there. I got the gun off him and shot him dead.

Now see, dreaming that I've killed someone in cold blood kind of worries me. But then I took his radio and the gun, grabbed my backpack and ran, because the gunshot had been heard by the others and I had to get away.

I ended up doing a bit of a Die Hard - crawling around in the air vents, eavesdropping on their orders, chucking chairs out of the museum windows to try and attract attention from outside. But wherever I went, they'd be hard on my heels and I never had enough time to get a proper cry for help out of the building. When they figured out I was in the air vents their leader ordered them all to shoot into them. I got trapped in a corner between two rooms, curled up with my backpack (couldn't leave it - had my notebook in it) a gun and a radio, with bullets ripping through the metal either side of me and ricocheting around the inside of the vents.

Shortly after that it all started getting very disconnected. They had my mother and brother at gunpoint, ordered me to give myself up or they'd kill them. I did. And I woke up. I can't remember if I got shot, or they got shot, or help arrived, or what.

Dream Two:

Alright. Apologies in advance to any of my Christian (or otherwise religious) friends who might read this. You should know I mean no offence...

This dream was all in my house. For those who don't know it, my house is rather large. Very tall - lots of staircases and so on. And right up near the top we have a "games room", which is mostly occupied by a table tennis table at the moment.

So I was up there. Along with a load of people from my school - but all in school uniform, which we haven't worn for over a year now. And everyone was lined up in columns at one end of the table. I was at the back of the line nearest the door, kind of hiding behind other people and feeling a little bored, a little amused, because at the other side of the table the school Chaplain was standing, giving us a talk about Nice People.

So I'm standing there, thinking of a dozen other things and half-listening to him proclaiming that Nice People are divinely inspired, following the righteous path, and are the earthly agents of the Lord (and various other bizarre things) and thinking to myself, "Not me. I'm a fairly nice person. Does that make me the exception to the rule or does it show that the rule is not valid?" while hiding behind everyone else in the line so that he can't see me smirk if I amuse myself.

And then he starts saying things like, "Nice People often try and avoid recognition. They hide behind others, and deny all accusations of them being nice..."

And he's looking right at me. And I start to get a little nervous, because I don't like being praised or having people go on about how wonderful I am (take note, Mum) and it's really beginning to sound like he's just talking about ME except that he's making it sound like I'm only nice to people because it's God's will and I'm a good little devout Christian girl - and that's not me. I'm rather more... Hmm. Rather more flexible when it comes to religion. Not atheist, so much. Not quite agnostic, even. That implies you're certain that you're uncertain. I don't know what I think and I don't think about it much, to be honest. But I get... edgy when people start throwing religion at me. It can make me somewhat uncomfortable and somewhat guilty, especially if (as in the dream) someone tries to pretend that my motives and actions spring from one faith or another.

So, I'm there in the dream feeling VERY uncomfortable, and then all of a sudden it flips. I'm standing on the other side of the table, with everyone else where they were, watching me (ex-boyfriend smirking in the background as if he's enjoying me being paraded around and humiliated) and the Chaplain standing beside the table, still going on about how wonderful I am and how everyone should pray to the Lord to give them the same divine guidance He gave me...

And I break and run. Round the far side of the table, because EVERYONE is between me and the door, but all the people from school just stand there and let me go bolting through the middle of them and out the door and down the stairs while the Chaplain's still talking. I make it all the way down and come hurtling through the dining room into the kitchen.

Mum's there, but even while she's asking if I'm alright and what's the matter, I'm slamming the door and grabbing the handle and bracing my feet against the wall because I KNOW the Chaplain is going to come and drag me out any second.

And the door is yanked open again, as easily as if I wasn't holding it back at all. The Chaplain's standing there, and I dart past him and behind the dining table - he's between me and the kitchen door and garden door, and everyone else has come down from the games room and is standing in the hall and in the dining room doorway. I'm absolutely trapped and he's still talking about what a GOOD person I am, and how WONDERFUL it is that I've seen the light, and how I can show others the way to God...

And I wake up.

And I am VERY freaked out.

Dream Three:

I went shopping. It's a friend's birthday in a few days, and I wanted to get him something cool. My brother went with me (?) and I decided to go in Alternative. They have a couple of bizarre back rooms and upstairs bits in there that have some random stuff in.

And we found this new back room - which I've dreamed of before, I know it. It was all kind of orangey. Maybe some wood pannelling and so on, bright and clear, but orange. And the stuff. Oh, the stuff. My kind of shop. There were pretty stones, all kinds of dragon related ornaments and jewellery, and SWORDS everywhere! Must have been at least a hundred different blades, on display and in cases. You could just wander up and draw one, take a look and put it back. LOVELY things. Beautiful, gorgeous things.

And there were so many things there that were just PERFECT for my friend's birthday - but somehow I only had a pound in my pocket. My brother had a pound as well, but everything (even the smaller emerald-coloured glass dragons... detail, see? This is how I know I've been there before in another dream) cost more than three pounds.

I was still having the time of my life looking around and drooling over everything when we met another of my friends. (In reality, I did meet her in town last time I went shopping, before Christmas - and we went to Alternative. Echoes...) We were all of us wandering around when the dream started to veer away from reality and become stranger. There was someone else with us. I don't know who. And I wasn't me, and my brother wasn't my brother, and my friend wasn't my friend. Or at least, they weren't quite themselves by now and I was still me, but I wouldn't be in a minute. I'll explain.

There was a strange breeze picking up in the shop. Everyone else was getting worried and leaving. The fourth person told us that "There is a Nephew here. We should leave."

And somehow I knew we (all four) were vampires. And so was this Nephew. All in the family - and the closer you were related to SOMEONE (the original? I don't know) the more powerful you were. I was a Grandchild - but I was stronger than my brother, and slightly more so than the fourth person, who was a Great-Nephew.

We made it to the door and found it was locked - none of the other three could open it. And then the fourth person said "Laligin's power is enough to open the door." (Although he? - I think he - used my real name. Which freaked me out a bit, but you know...) So I opened the door. Easy as pie. We all went through, though the wind was picking up and we knew by now that the Nephew was after us. There was a narrow flight of stairs, and we all hurried down - I was last.

At the bottom of the stairs, it opened out a bit and we were at street level, facing two glass doors, with an Open/Closed sign hanging on one of them. The Closed side was facing us. Again, I had to open the door - but this time they called me Chris, and I got the bizarre feeling that it was short for Christian. (Freaked me out incredibly...)

But then all three of them ran out through the open door and crossed the street without even looking back. I was halfway to following them when something grabbed me. And there was nothing there, just power taking hold of my legs and knocking me over and pulling me back into the shop, even though I was screaming and struggling and trying to hold onto the doorstep. There were people passing by outside, right outside the door, ignoring me, and my nails were all breaking and my fingers were bleeding, and I was clawing at the floor to try and get purchase and leaving those stereotypical horror-film drag marks in the carpet as I got hauled back in.

And I woke up. But I have the strange feeling that I got killed that time.

So there you go. Three dreams. All recent. And in each one of them I'm trapped in a building, hunted. In two of them I'm everyone's only hope and I get caught (possibly killed). In two of them there's a strong current of Christianity. My immediate family is present in all three. And there's a closed door in two - in one case I'm trying to keep it closed, in another I'm fighting someone else to get it open. In both cases it's not locked, just held shut.

There's probably some obvious psychological meaning to this that I'm missing, especially considering the similarities between them all. But meh.

I'm considering using the third as the starting point for a new story... ^_^


laligin: (Default)

March 2010



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